SamboraBlog

PEOPLE WEEK IN REVIEW OH WHAT a week it was, what with marriages, divorces, rumors, all the basic troubles that happen before noon on the average day of your average celebrity. In case you missed a single scintillating moment, here's a quick recap:

GOT HITCHED: Emmy-winning actress Patricia Arquette, star of U.S. television show "Medium," married her long-time boyfriend, actor Thomas Jane, in Italy.

"Wyatt Earp" star Hugh O'Brian, 81, married Virginia Barber, 54, in a decidedly creepy ceremony at Forest Lawn Memorial Park. The couple had "dated" for 18 years, and this was O'Brian's first marriage, the bride's second. Why they chose the death theme, we don't want to know.

Marcia Cross, 44, who plays the uptight and proper Bree Van De Camp on "Desperate Housewives," married stockbroker Tom Mahoney in San Gabriel.

AILING: Two unidentified characters in the "Harry Potter" series. Author J.K. Rowling said in an interview that two main characters won't make it out of the seventh and final book alive.

Actor Rob Schneider collapsed on the set of his new movie, the misadventures-in-prison comedy "Big Stan," and was treated at a nearby hospital for food poisoning and heat exhaustion. Usually, it's his audiences that leave the film feeling ill.

KEEPING THE LEGAL PROFESSION EMPLOYED: Rush Limbaugh, who was found with someone else's Viagra prescription.

Naomi Campbell, alleged serial cellularist, was sued by a former maid who said the super model reached out and touched her with a cell phone upside the head. Campbell already is facing criminal charges for allegedly doing the same thing to another maid.

INDUCTED: Actor Tom Hanks was inducted as an honorary member of the U.S. Army's Ranger Hall of Fame for his accurate portrayal of a World War II Army Ranger company commander in the movie "Saving Private Ryan" and for his continued commitment to honoring those who served in the war. No truth to the rumor that the Army forced him to ditch his "The Da Vinci Code" haircut before receiving the honor.

CHANGES IN LATITUDE: Denise Richards is selling the Los Angeles-area home she bought last year after her split from Charlie Sheen. The reason? Ghosts of neighbors past. Heather Locklear, Richards' former best friend and the estranged wife of Richards' new love interest, Richie Sambora, used to live next door with Sambora.

BACK FROM THE ALMOST DEAD: Genie Francis, who originated the role of Laura on the ABC soap "General Hospital," will return to the fictional town of Port Charles in October for the 25th anniversary of Luke and Laura's wedding.

SURI-OUSLY: It's 75 days and counting with no sighting and no pictures of Suri Cruise, the alleged spawn of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Although the deliriously happy couple insist the baby does exist, without photographic proof the world is beginning to have its doubts. Among the more popular rumors about the child is that she's 50 feet tall and the manifestation of Daddy's raging ego. Or that she's just an ugly baby.

FAVORITE TOP 10: David Letterman's Top 10 Signs You're at a Bad Fireworks Display

10. What you call a fireworks display, the police call arson.

9. Best part was when the bug zapper fell in the pool.

8. Only celebrity they could get is the Geico lizard.

7. Al Gore shuts it down because of atmosphere-warming sulfur emissions.

6. It starts at noon.

5. It's just a couple of guys yelling, "Ka-Boom!"

4. Finale of show: A stick of dynamite blows up your car.

3. Fireworks form a colorful image of CNN personality Larry King.

2. You're handed a program and a business card of several personal injury attorneys.

1. When you complain that it's over after an underwhelming two minutes, your wife says, "Tell me about it."

THEY SAID WHAT? "He just had an incredible charisma and was such a free spirit." -- Animal trainer Mathilde Halberg, talking about the recently deceased Moose, the dog who played Eddie on TV's "Frasier."

Denise Richards Birthday Surprise Nixed By Jon Bon Jovi

A new report claims that Denise Richards really wanted to surprise her rocker sweetie and Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora on stage. No it's not a 'Pussycat Dolls encore, but still it might be sort of a distraction.

Jon Bon Jovi's response - uh no sweetie, the show is about the band.

They Give Love a Bad Name, Part 19:

Here's a story that takes the cake--or not. Wanting to surprise her rocker beau Richie Sambora, alleged actress Denise Richards called Bon Jovi frontman Jon Bon Jovi to ask if she could present Richie with a birthday cake onstage during the band's upcoming July 10 show in Hollywood, Florida.

Sources tell In Touch the sugary sweet gesture got gonged. "Jon suggested it might be too much of a spectacle," says an insider. Seems plausible. You wouldn't want to turn a rock show into a spectacle.

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In Jon's defense - I'm thinking this is the right move.

Its likely few Bon Jovi fans in Florida would be amused at another self-promotion by Denise Richards and would add nothing to the concert.

Denise is selling the Westlake Village home she bought last year following her separation from Charlie Sheen, PEOPLE reports in it upcoming issue to escape the neighborhood of Heather Locklear.

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Perhaps it's time to completely move on and stop flaunting the relationship altogether.

Richie Rich Meet The Parents!

Richie Rich have outlasted our expectations. Despite public contempt towards their relationship, Denise Richards and Richie Sambora have managed to make their sordid relationship last.

And, the lovers spent this past week holed up together in Texas, sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com.

The pair stayed at the swanky Four Seasons Hotel in Houston and enjoyed each other's company and what the city had to offer.

The two dined out at Morton's on Monday night, having dinner with five friends in a private room at the restaurant.

Wednesday night, Richie Rich headed out to Damien's restaurant, and Sambora's parents joined him and Richards for dinner. The couple must have enjoyed their meal a lot because they went back to Damien's on Thursday night.

We hope LockQueer are still together. Heather deserves to be happy!