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June 22, 2006

Sambora / Richards...Locklear? 61

Dirty Laundry

LATEST: Funnyman DAVID SPADE has told friends he plans to wed HEATHER LOCKLEAR as soon as she divorces rocker RICHIE SAMBORA. The couple have dismissed reports they're an item, despite meeting for romantic liaisons, and wowing diners at select restaurants with their outward show of affection. The couple were most recently spotted at the Sunset Tower Hotel in Los Angeles, where onlookers claim they acted like "lovestruck teenagers, holding hands and giggling throughout their meal," according to American magazine Life + Style. And although Spade's publicists are refusing to comment on the romance, the JOE DIRT star has reportedly told pals, "I'm so in love it's ridiculous. Never in my life did I think I'd be with someone so gorgeous and successful." According to friends, Spade intends to propose to Locklear during an upcoming summer break at his Malibu, California, beach house. The actor reportedly told one pal, "She knows I'm going to ask. It's all about timing." Locklear's divorce from BON JOVI guitarist Sambora is expected to be finalised in August (06). The actress filed for divorce from the rocker in February (06). Sambora is currently dating former BOND girl DENISE RICHARDS.

Dirty Laundry

‘Snap, crackle, pop and around the world’ bitches

While we have our own group of distinguished Jared Leto groupies here in this fine city (and yes, we thank the Varsity for making all of our dreams come true), it appears that Mr. Leto has a new little blonde on his arm who goes by the name of one Jessica Simpson. And while both of their reps have denied any lick of romance between the two, sources report that the two have been sighted canoodling in certain Manhattan locations.

Think Jessica giving Jared a preview of what exactly is left of her.

Of course, this new vision of coupledom might not be sitting well with yet another equally talented actress, Miss Lindsay Lohan. Since it was noted that Lohan and Leto were doing the damn (can we say damn?) thing last year, a source close to the actress (can we say actress?) reported that Lindsay was feeling both furious and betrayed by the news.

Personally, I think all the ladies out there can attest to the fact that yes, we were all quite taken with a Mr. Jordan Catalano. I mean, try to convince me you didn’t want him to do that little pull-in/make-out thing in the nearest janitor closet.

Nope, can’t do it can ya?

Moving on, seems to be that this feeling of betrayal has a little chain action momentum going on, and instead of Lohan portraying the victim, this time poor Paris Hilton is the victim of a love match between her ex beau, Stavros Niarchos, and little Lohan.

Imagine how great the pangs of emotion must be for these two leading ladies right now – makes you almost feel sorry for them.

Wait for it…wait for it. Nope, got nothing.

But for you more sympathetic readers, don’t fret. Your fabulous Paris reported to Regis and Kelly, “I don’t need a man” (now read that quote again and envision a little hand choreography inserted – ‘snap, crackle, pop, and around the world,’ bitches)…“I always have a boyfriend all the time, so I’ve never really got to know me and, like, have time for myself because I spend all my energy on the boyfriend.”

Maybe, like, Paris can really get in touch with herself now, and, like, prove to all of us that she’s more than just some, like, rich little princess (and no, princess was not my first choice of words. Thanks for asking).

And I guess this fine theme of betrayal can meander back on over to the Denise Richards/Heather Locklear chronicle and the big ole rock making special appearances on Denise’s left hand. But where Denise and her Bon Jovi rocker, Richie Sambora, are concerned, the love laden Denise admits, “You can’t help who you fall for.”

Kind of makes you all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t it? Warm and fuzzy with “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” lingering in the background – and the only question left: Is it the Elvis version or (gasp) the UB40 medley?

And now we’ve reached that point in our program where it’s time to take the inevitable turn to Ms. Spears and her lover boy, and “boy,” my dear readers, is not simply my term of endearment for Federline. Instead, during Britney’s tête-à-tête with Matt Lauer, after confirming that her marriage was indeed “awesome,” she went on to explain how Federline’s simplicity is what makes her love him – “He’s just like a boy.”

Now, I’ll admit that I prefer the “pro-love” agenda, and yes, maybe a spoon full of optimism can replace the sugar, but in order for said degree of acceptance to occur, Britney may want to describe the love of her life with terminology that is tad bit on the tuned side.

Perhaps she can schedule some lessons with Dennis Leary, who told Conan O’Brien (A.K.A. Conan O’Brrriiieeen – can’t fight the way I hear it my friends) that his secret to a sixteen year marriage was, “Mutual love, a little hatred and staying the hell away from each other.”

But for now, armed with the perfect marriage and another tot on the way, Britney simply wishes that the paparazzi would “realize that we’re people and we… need privacy and respect.”


Sorry for the temporary interruption. I was struggling to fend off the little plastic, green army of guilt.

But surprise, surprise; I won. Cheers!

Palm Beacher, parents meet the Sheens

Those among The Island's Bentley crowd who didn't flee the mean season have been awakened from their boredom — as one of theirs is making big celebrity news.

Brooke Mueller, daughter of Palm Beach socialite Moira Fiore, has been stepping out with bad-boy actor Charlie Sheen and identified in the Inside Edition-type TV shows as his new squeeze.

Well, squeeze may no longer be right. Fiore tells Page Two that she and hubby John Fiore traveled to the Left Coast last week to be introduced to Sheen, 40. And Fiore says Sheen had Brooke meet his mom and dad, West Wing star Martin Sheen and Janet, on Mother's Day.

With parents involved, Mueller's been upgraded to girlfriend.

"I've never seen my daughter happier," Fiore said. "She told me they laugh morning, noon and night, and that she's never been more comfortable with someone. Charlie says he loves her personality and, of course, her looks. As a mother, if they're happy, I'm happy."

Are we talking about the same Sheen who's accused by his soon-to-be-ex-wife and James Bond girl Denise Richards of abusing prescription drugs, cruising online teen porn and gambling compulsively, when he's not threatening to kill her? Or the guy who once spent 50 Gs on Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss' hookers?

"Well, there are a lot of stories out there about Tom Cruise and George Clooney," Fiore said. "What matters is how he treats my daughter."

Fiore said the dinner conversation never touched on Sheen's divorce, or Richards' well-publicized romance with her best friend Heather Locklear's soon-to-be-ex, rocker Richie Sambora.

"We talked about Two and a Half Men (Sheen's CBS sitcom) because I've been watching every Monday," said Fiore, the latest chairwoman of the Palm Beach ball that benefits WPB's Dreyfoos School of the Arts.

When Mueller, 28, graduated from the Benjamin School in NPB, she headed to Pepperdine University in Malibu to study acting. The daughter of a Lutheran minister who died when she was 11, Mueller starred in a horror flick and a couple of TV shows before going into real estate.

Mueller met Sheen at a party three months ago. They were introduced by her best friend, actress Rebecca Gayheart (Scream 2).

"He's not the first famous guy she's dated," Fiore said. "The others just didn't last long. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw Charlie and Brooke in Palm Beach next season."


Lame-duck Palm Beach County Commission Chairman Tony Masilotti got some welcome relief from his daily routine, which, these days, includes an FBI investigation, questions about real estate deals and his dropping out of his reelection campaign.

His eldest daughter was married Saturday in a rather intimate ceremony at St. Rita Catholic Church in Wellington.

Jennifer Masilotti, 27, exchanged vows with 25-year-old Royal Palm Beacher Jeffrey Gibson before about 50 people, who then moved to the Breakers West Country Club for a party. The Rev. Leo Armbrust, the Miami Dolphins' former padre, officiated.

The lovebirds were registered at Target, in addition to Crate & Barrel and Williams-Sonoma. The $258 All-Clad pot is still available for gift-givers, but the $74 Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner isn't.

A source close to the family said the proud papa didn't invite any of his commission colleagues. Among those who were there: Royal Palm Beach Village Manager David Farber and developer Bruce Rendina, who owns a $2.2 million home at the club.


Big shake-up at WPEC-Channel 12 and WFLX-Channel 29.

TV-land sources are squawking that Alan Gerstel and Claudia Shea are out as the anchor team of the 10 p.m. FLX newscast, and PEC stalwart Curt Fonger is losing his 5 p.m. anchor desk. He retains the prime-time 6 p.m. and 11 p.m. shows, and will do a special afternoon Webcast for the station.

Gerstel — who, like Shea, is a PEC employee contracted to work for FLX — was told last week his contract wouldn't be renewed. It's set to expire early next year, two industry sources said, and Gerstel will fill in on weekends on Channel 12 until then.

"I've got nothing to talk about," said Gerstel, whose historic Flamingo Park home is for sale.

He'll be replaced on FLX by the much younger Channel 12 weekend co-anchor Eric Roby.

Shea is switching to mornings on the Fox-affiliate FLX and will replace the departed Terry Anzur at noon on Channel 12.

Fonger, meanwhile, is moving from the 5 p.m. slot he has occupied for nearly 18 years to make room for Suzanne Boyd, who leaves mornings to join Liz Quirantes. Boyd'll also replace Shea on Fox at 10 p.m.

With Fonger's departure, all 5 p.m. newscasts in the area will be fronted exclusively by women.

"The 5 p.m. newscasts follow Oprah," said a PEC spy. "Women rule that hour. Curt was the last man standing. He is happy to be able to explore opportunities in another medium."

Sniffed a WPTV-Channel 5-er who declined to be identified: "It's like re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Same faces, just different times."

PEC Station Manager Donn Colee didn't comment. The changes take effect July 17.


. . . With a Yankees hat keeping him somewhat anonymous, The Sopranos' Frank Vincent (Phil Leotardo) was spotted at ER Bradley's in WPB the other day, munching on a chicken Caesar wrap . . . Chicago newspapers are reporting that fallen media emperor Conrad Black, accused by the feds last year of stealing $84 million from the parent company of the Chicago Sun-Times, defaulted on a loan on his Palm Beach home last week. County records show Black, once a fixture in The Island with wife Barbara, took out a $10 million loan on the $23 million, 20,000-square-foot Ocean Boulevard mansion last year . . .

Posted by riesambo at June 22, 2006 07:04 AM