SamboraBlog

Dating a friend's ex-mate has its pitfalls

Tabloids have been breathlessly following actress Denise Richards' romance with Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora, estranged husband of Richards' now ex-best friend, Heather Locklear.

Is it ever OK to date the ex-spouse or former lover of a friend or relative?

Weird, but not unprecedented.

Jermaine Jackson, of the Jackson 5, was married for nearly a decade to his former sister-in-law, Alejandra. Conveniently, she didn't have to change her surname after marrying ex-husband Randy Jackson's older brother.

Although he denies it, there was media speculation that Nick Lachey had had a brief rebound fling with CaCee Cobb, the best friend and personal assistant of his ex, Jessica Simpson.

Dating the former lover or ex-spouse of a friend or relative is tricky moral ground. On the one han could argue that couple No. 1 is over and done with, so the ex is fair game.

However, many insist there's something unseemly about it.

"It's tacky because it ruins the friendship," said Becky Powell, 49, of Indianapolis. She lost a friendship after a girlfriend of hers began dating a man she had recently stopped seeing.

Powell wonders if her ex pursued her friend to get back at her, and to this day feels betrayed by her friend. "Here I am, spilling my guts, telling her everything about this man, and then she ends up with him," she says.

There also is the irresistible urge to ponder when, precisely, the second relationship began.

The questions to ask yourself are, how much do you value the friend or relative, and are you willing to risk losing that person for a relationship that may or may not work out, says therapist Brenda Truax.

"It does feel like a betrayal," she says. "So you have to decide whether it's worth the pain it will cause."

Truax understands why some still find their friends' and relatives' exes tempting. "That is somebody they've gotten comfortable with," she says.

Another thing to consider is a suitor's motives, warns Susan Shapiro Barash, author of "Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth About Women and Rivalry."

"The boyfriend or husband of someone you're jealous of is one of the most glittering prizes to steal," Shapiro Barash says. If the person now seeing your ex was a confidante during the tough times, that's just salt on an open wound, Shapiro Barash adds.

Berry says yes to motherhood, no to marriage

Plus, Colin Farrell ready to say ‘I do’; DiCaprio singing Gore's praises

Halle Berry wants to have a child — but after her unhappy split from her last husband, she has no intention of getting married.

The “X-Men” star, who turns 40 in August, has been telling interviewers that she is planning to adopt or conceive a child soon.

“I no longer have the need to be someone’s wife,” Berry told the Canadian News Service. “And, I no longer have the need to feel validated through marriage.”

Berry says she isn’t worried about the effect on the child. “My mother was alone and raised me,” she said. “And I think I came out OK.”

Berry told another reporter, “I don’t think you need a piece of paper for the child to feel loved or legitimate.” The star has soured on marriage because she’s paying ex-hubby Eric Benet alimony. “Yeah, that’s not good,” Berry said. “Especially when he cheats on you like 27 times.”

Ready for the altar
Unlike Berry, Colin Farrell is all too ready to get married.

The notoriously wild actor is reportedly ready to get hitched to his “Pride and Glory” co-star Lake Bell. The two have been dating for two months.

“Colin is a changed man since he went into rehab in December and he wants to find someone to settle down with,” a source told the Irish Mirror. “In the last five years he’s found it hard to settle down but he says that Lake has been his rock and he can’t live without her.” His rep couldn’t be reached for comment.

Notes from all over
Leonardo DiCaprio is urging fans to see Al Gore’s film on global warming. “Go See ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ when it comes to your town!” the ecologically-minded DiCaprio writes on his Web site. “Gore is funny, engaging, open and downright on fire about getting the surprisingly stirring truth about what he calls our ‘planetary emergency’ out to ordinary citizens before it’s too late.” ... Will Denise Richards want to join Bon Jovi? Richie Sambora’s girlfriend is now saying that she wants the guitarist to teach her how to play. ... Maybe Martha Stewart should have plea bargained with the SEC. Last week, the domestic diva announced that she would fight rather than settle civil charges brought against her by the regulatory commission. “This is going to be as messy as her criminal trial,” Chris Byron, author of a best-selling biography of Stewart told the Scoop. While Stewart won’t have to serve time if she’s convicted, the standard of proof is much lower, notes Byron. “She had an opportunity to make this go away, and she didn’t. It’s pure hubris. How many times do you have to sit on a stove to realize that you get your behind burned?”

Huh? - Porter's People

Free Tickets for City's

Genocide Event

-- Glendale (Calif.) News Press headline

Not `Desperate' material

Perhaps it should be called Desperately Skinny Housewives.

A former star of ER has blasted the hit series about the women of Wisteria Lane, saying she was turned down for Felicity Huffman's role because she has too many curves.

Alex Kingston, who played a surgeon in ER, also says that the super-slim actresses in the hit series make viewers feel guilty about their own size.

``I didn't get the part, and I know why: irrespective of acting ability, I'm just way too big,'' Kingston tells MSN.com. ``It drives me crazy; it's encouraging women to feel guilty about not looking like that.''

This day in music

1973 -- No. 1 Billboard hit: My Love, Paul McCartney & Wings. The song is McCartney's first No. 1 with Wings, his post-Beatles group.

Whatever works!

A childish stunt, People mag calls it.

Rumors abound that Heather Locklear -- whose estranged hubby, Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora, is romancing Denise Richards -- parked in front of Richards' house and blasted Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer at ear-shattering decibels.

All's well that ends well

It looks like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got what all parents want -- a healthy baby.

While Namibian officials declined to give any details on the birth Saturday of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, a doctor at the hospital tells Agence France-Presse there were no complications and mother and daughter were doing well.

The couple reportedly has sold rights to the first baby pictures for $5 million to an unnamed American magazine, with the cash going to UNICEF.

The sporting news

Sports Illustrated polled 470 major-leaguers, asking, ``Who is the most underrated player in baseball?''

Rangers shortstop Michael Young garnered 11 percent of the vote, followed by Phillies outfielder Bobby Abreu with 6 percent, Angels outfielder Garret Anderson with 5 percent and Red Sox infielder Mark Loretta with 5 percent.

The most overrated?

Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter was so dissed by 9 percent of the voters, followed by Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran with 7 percent, Yankees infielder Alex Rodriguez with 6 percent and Dodgers outfielder J.D. Drew with 5 percent.

Daily driblet

It costs 5.73 cents to produce a nickel, up 19 percent from last year, reports Time mag.

Dumb crook news

Customers at a bank in Bensalem, Pa., watched as a man robbed it and went to a nearby diner to grab a bite before his getaway, amused police tell AP.

The final word

In an interview, Hillary Clinton said that on a personal level she finds President Bush has charm and charisma and she enjoys his company. Which is pretty amazing considering she's never said that about Bill.

-- Jay Leno

The pressure's on, Bambelina

Unless Denise Richards and Richie Sambora have something they’d like to share, the celebrity baby boom has finally come to a freaking halt. TomKat, Gwen and Gavin (Gwavin?) and now Brangelina have all produced beautiful, healthy offspring and are oh-so-happy, blah blah blah. Britney and K-Fed’s second is on deck, but we get the sense they’re gonna be pumping them out so fast no one will care.

So we’re left to fawn over Hollywood’s — and Africa’s — latest addition: Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, born to Brad Pitt, 42, and Angelina Jolie, 30, under ridiculously tight security at a Namibian hotel on Saturday. “Shiloh” is Hebrew for “he who is to be sent,” according to Behindthename.com, but to our ears it’s Stalkerazzian for “she whose photo will send me into early retirement.”

No doubt Bambelina’s “imminent arrival” was the most hyped event since … well, the last most-hyped event. Still, that’s nothing. We suspect that one day the pressure will make little Shiloh wish she was never born into one of the most beautiful, rich and altruistic families in the world. We’ve consulted our Sun crystal ball for the sad specifics:

Appearance

When Brad Pitt is your dad and Angelina Jolie is your mom, you better be hot. Any ugliness caused by disproportion of genes (say, Angie’s chin with Brad’s stubble) is a blight on the whole family. But since Brad is blond and Angie is a brunette, Shiloh’s locks end up that mousy hue no one likes. Papa Pitt dyes it platinum to further her career as a Welch’s kid, but Mom immediately shuns the idea of a good girl image and dyes it black in 60 seconds. As Angie hoped, the new shade keeps Shiloh from making friends with the sort of girls who watch Friends reruns.

Humanitarian

At age five, Shiloh finally asks Brangelina why she looks nothing like Zahara, Maddox and her 17 other siblings. Her parents explain her brothers and sisters were adopted from foreign countries and insist she was lucky they even had her. (Angie is especially touchy on this point, since her post-baby bod cost her a leading role in Basic Instinct 3). Mom and Dad take their frustrations out on Shiloh by making her donate her first paycheck to their own WAC (Waning Acting Career) Fund.

Acting

With an Oscar-winning mama and an, uh, MTV Movie Award-winning pop, Baby Brangie’s destined for big screen success — but not without a few nude scenes. After her 21st birthday, Billy Bob Thornton aims to get back at his ex by casting Shiloh in his upcoming comedy Baddest Santa, where she’ll be required to lie around topless for no good reason. When Daddy Brad finds out, a geriatric Fight Club slapfest ensues.

Marital

Wrecking homes ain’t easy — especially not when your mom keeps stealing your boyfriends. When Gwen and Gavin’s son Kingston grows up to be (surprise!) an utter hunk and ties the knot with TomKitten — who has inherited her parents’ plain Jane looks — Shiloh makes it a priority to play his onscreen Mrs. so he’ll eventually leave his offscreen one. Hey, like mother, like daughter.