SamboraBlog

CELEBRITY TERROR ALERT: What we should be worried about this week

Green

Britney Spears treated four New Orleans teen school pals to new wardrobes and lunch at Emeril Lagasse's restaurant. She then headed back to the airport with her baby sitting on the roof of the car.

Blue

Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora wants the judge in his divorce case removed, saying he thinks the man is prejudiced against him. After plunking down hard-earned money for the band's latest disc, Have a Nice Day, you'd be prejudiced, too.

Gold

Pop star George Michael called his recent arrest for possession of pot his "own stupid fault, as usual." (As is the fact that I now can't get Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go out of my head.) Reached for comment, former Wham! co-member Andrew Ridgeley no doubt said, "I wish I could afford pot."

Orange

Anna Nicole Smith teared up as lawyers faced off before the Supreme Court to decide whether she's entitled to a portion of her late husband, J. Howard Marshall's, fortune. The tears most likely came from Smith's worries that she's now gonna have to spend even more time coming on to cadaverous old coots in order to get her hands on the loot.

BLAB! RED

R&B singer Bobby Brown scared the pants off people when he hinted in the magazine Sister 2 Sister that wife Whitney Houston might be in the family way. Blab! offers these potential baby names: My Prerogative, Hell to the Naw, Eightball and Crackiswhack.

-- Todd Camp

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"I wanted to do something that wasn't just like, 'I'm a celebrity I like puppies!' "

- V for Vendetta star Natalie Portman in Us Weekly, on choosing to work with women's charities in foreign countries, such as Ecuador.

LATE-NIGHT JOKE OF THE WEEB

"I feel sorry for kids today the way they get their music. They download it or put it in on CDs. How do you get your messages from the devil? . . . Nowadays you have to get text messages from the devil. 'Dude it's me, LuC4. Meet me at Starbucks.' "

- Craig Ferguson, host of CBS' The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

SMITH 'N' MARDI: I feel the need - the need for beads!

We're not sure what Michael Keaton, who grew up in Pennsylvania, has done lately to merit riding with the Krewe of Bacchus, but he sure looks happy about it. Keaton was one of several stars to pop in to New Orleans for its first post-Katrina Mardi Gras

Many women lift up their shirts during Mardi Gras parades, but since Britney Spears does that all the time, she decided to wear extra clothing.

Leave it to Willie Nelson to toss Mardi Gras beads so well, it looks like he's wieldin' a lariat. At left: Is it just us, or is Elijah Wood morphing from hobbit to Quentin Tarantino?

SHAKE IT UP

While performing at the 37th Annual NAACP Image Awards, Carlos Santana looks so smooth (great, now that song will be stuck in our heads all day)

If you go to Jamie Foxx's house, you'll find a whole bunch of awards with lip-shaped smudges on them.

HI, SAILOR!

A Harvard Hasty Pudding actor pesters Richard Gere, Hasty Pudding Theatricals' Man of the Year. That appears to be hasty cotton candy on the actor's head.

SING TO THE HAND!

John Lithgow takes a break from soup commercials to promote his new children's book, The Runaway Pancake. We're not sure what John is doing here. Looking at song lyrics? Getting ready to slap himself

YOU SHOULD BE DANCING, YEAH!

If you were watching the Olympics or PBS or something else educational Sunday night, you missed the Dancing With the Stars season-two finale, when Drew "I'm not just Nick's brother anymore!'' Lachey won the grand prize. That's Drew down there, with dancing partner Cheryl Burke, who figured, "Might as well jump!"

Left: George Hamilton wasn't a finalist, but he looks good. Above: former San Francisco 49er Jerry Rice and his dance partner, Anna Trebunskaya, get stuck in the '70s. Good times! Inset: What Rice really looks like.

SMITH AND DRESSIN'

We've said mean things about Anna Nicole Smith, so we want you to know, when she's at the Supreme Court to fight her late husband's family over his estate, she cleans up real nice.

BIG HEADS OF THE WEEK

(THE ONION) Kennedy Center to dishonor Gilbert Gottfried

(BIGFIB) New world record set for speed in which Winter Olympics ignored

(THE ONION) Children's hospital charity dependent on Teri Hatcher's knowledge of British Parliament

By Todd Camp and Robert Philpot
Star-Telegram Staff Writers